November 3, 2003
Eleven things the Skating Friar is up to now
As you may have heard, the Skating Friar is no longer on the front of Providence's uniforms. But we've tracked him down.

• Left monastery for long-term relationship with Demi Moore.

• Holed up in office finishing TPS reports for Vatican.

• Hanging out at gentlemen's clubs with Mo Vaughn.

• Loophole in contract allowed him to ditch Big East for ACC.

• Hasn't been seen since Halloween night, when someone accidently mistook him for Grim Reaper.

• Offered prominent role in movie directed by fellow Rhode Island natives, the Farrelly brothers.

• Signed a deal with the Devils and will be managing the salary cap next year for ex-Friar coach Lou Lamoriello.

• Sharing a Florida retirement home with the California Golden Seal and the Hartford Whaler.

• Went into hiding after unfortunate results of "colorization" experiment.

• Negotiating with Theo Epstein to become the next manager of the Boston Red Sox.

• Starring in new reality show "I'm a Cleric...Get Me Out Of Here!"