February 2, 2004
Ten things you'll see if there's an NHL work stoppage

• You brag about how many players your school sent to the Deutsche Eishockey Liga.

• Millions of NHL fans thrilled that Dallas Stars' hideous third jerseys will remain in mothballs indefinitely.

• Chris Drury returns to baseball, becomes the first person to win the Hobey, the Calder, and the AL Rookie of the Year award.

• "Bad dorm food" replaces "signing bonus" as the biggest reason for college players to leave school early.

• Instead of watching Caps-Predators and wishing you were at a college game, you're stuck daydreaming during American Idol.

• ESPN NHL Hockey 2005 video game consists of Bob Goodenow and Gary Bettman sitting at a table.

• Quality of play at college hockey alumni games increases exponentially.

• NHL arena operators attempt to make up lost revenue by hosting craft shows, grade school plays and high school proms.

• Television viewers across North America tune in for Saturday staple "Hockey Night in Binghamton."

• New York Rangers enjoy best season in years.