May 17, 2004
Eleven things you shouldn't say when you meet the President

• "I know you've got a lot on your plate, but could you look into allowing two-line passes in the NHL game?"

• "What does a guy have to do to get a drink around here? When Forrest Gump visited, at least he got a Dr. Pepper."

• "If we counted scores like they counted ballots in Florida, you'd be talking to Jimmy Howard right now."

• "Any interns around here?"

• "Since I'm from Canada, do I have diplomatic immunity like the guy from 'Lethal Weapon 2'?"

• "Mind if we get that jersey back? Our backup goalie next year was going to wear No. 1."

• "Where are your daughters? I've got a couple bottles of tequila on the bus."

• "I picked up that red telephone in your office but instead of Russia answering, it was some guy named Halliburton."

• "How long does it take you to mow all this grass?"

• "Think you could make a call to Kurt Russell, see if he could play Gwozdecky in a movie about our team?"

• "How did your mom's face get on the $1 bill?"