October 30, 2006
Nine Reasons for Puckman's Demotion

Rensselaer isn't getting rid of Puckman as a hockey logo, but he'll be featured less prominently on their uniforms and in publications.

He was traumatized by friends and relatives frequently shot into bleachers, never to return.

• Puckman's insistence on using a composite mini-stick ballooned the team's equipment budget.

• The 'Tute is taking strides to protect the new coaching staff from any lingering malcontents from the Dan Fridgen era.

• Puckwoman is steamed her husband is never home on Friday and Saturday nights.

• Co-workers complained that he became unpredictable when on edge.

• Puffs around his helmet determined by NCAA to be smoke signals, and therefore, hostile and abusive.

• Pantsless photos posted on Facebook.

• New coach Seth Appert determined not to have a program known for having the best mascot in the ECAC Hockey League.

High-profile scandal surfaced regarding illegitimate son "Puckboy" living in Kalamazoo.

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