November 11, 2009
Ways College Hockey Can Become More Hip

• Proceed with plans for reality TV show "Jon and Kate Have a Plus-Minus of Plus-8"

• Encourage teams to start aggressively recruiting hunky, "Twilight"-esque vampires

• Convince Jack Parker to go public about his relationship with Kim Kardashian

• Hosting the next Blueline Club luncheon: Oprah

• Ditch Huntsville, Duluth, and Orono for Vegas, Bel Air, and South Beach

• Bob Norton should dress like Don Cherry

• Persuade Brangelina to name their next adopted child "Goggin"

• Forget the U.S. speedskating team—Stephen Colbert needs to sponsor saveuahhockey.com

• Allow players to update Twitter accounts from penalty box

• Replace ice behind net with skateboarding vert ramps

• After a goal, Kanye West comes on ice, interrupts celebration, and says, "I'm really happy for you ... I'mma let you finish. But Mike Legg scored one of the greatest goals of all time."